Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself

July 29, 2024 | by alchemywithcourtney.com

I'm on a mission to make the next 6 months the best 6 months of my life.

Over the past few years, I’ve had the unique privilege of figuring out exactly what I want to do, who I want to be, and what direction I want my life to go. It hasn’t been easy – I’ve only been able to narrow this down through the process of elimination, trial and error, and some deep soul-searching. I’ve had to take huge, audacious risks, face the consequences, and be intentional about learning the lessons of those challenges & applying them to my strategy as I move forward. Through these learnings, I’ve discovered that I’m the only one who stands in my way of creating the life I want, and as of today, I’m getting the hell out of the way!

I’m not expecting the next few months to be a cakewalk. In fact, they’ll probably be some of the most challenging months of my life, especially in the beginning as I build and strengthen the habits & skills I need to fortify the foundation of my desired life & reality. However, I know these will probably be the most rewarding months of my life. I’m committed to aligning myself with my dreams and I’m refusing to let fear, doubt, uncertainty, ego, or external validation get in my way.

I invite you on this journey with me, but I’ll warn you, this isn’t going to be a perfect adventure. There will be big hurdles to climb, deep-seated emotions to face, paralyzing fears to overcome, and major mindset shifts that take place. Don’t expect me to be some expert who has it all figured out – I may be figuring it out as I go, but I’m 100% committed to getting there and also to sharing the knowledge & insight I gain along the way. I hope that the stories I share light the fire inside you and give you the drive to go after your desires in the face of adversity, when things aren’t perfect, and when people are telling you that you can’t do it. I’m hoping that the stories I share of transmuting my pain into pleasure inspire you to become the alchemist of your own life and circumstances.

Without further ado, here’s a little bit about me, my journey so far, and how I figured out where I want to go.

Let's Get Started

My name is Courtney, and I’ve spent a lot of time allowing other people to make decisions for me.

Born & raised in Upstate South Carolina, I had no idea where I wanted to go to college and what I wanted to major in. I settled on the University of South Carolina, mainly because my mom went there and it was close to home, and on majoring in Accounting & Finance, mainly because I was good with numbers and took an accounting class in high school that I was really good in & felt like it would be a stable career with pretty good pay.

College Journey

While in college, I struggled. My grades & my social life were on some kind of see-saw – At first, my grades were great but my social life wasn’t; then when I got my social life together, my grades suffered. During my junior year, I figured out that Accounting & Finance wasn’t for me but I had no idea what I wanted to do instead. I landed on the most general business administration major that my school offered & would still allow me to graduate on time: Management of Human Resources and Organizational Leadership.

Leading up to graduation & right before my 22nd birthday, I became a finalist for a Leadership & Development Program (LDP) in Austin, Texas. I was excited about the opportunity to explore different departments within the business to figure out what fit me best. As one of 5 finalists for 3 open positions, I just knew I was about to be taking my talents to Texas! Imagine my dismay when I received the news (on my doggone birthday!) that the entire LDP had been canceled due to a company reorganization. It was finals season, so most companies had already hired their graduates and I didn’t have the time to search. Two months after I graduated, I ended up taking my talents to Charlotte, NC for a role as a Recruiting Coordinator. It wasn’t Texas, but it also wasn’t South Carolina, so I was grateful for the chance to relocate.

My First Big Girl Job

While I was grateful for my first “big girl job,” I knew it would put me on a career path in HR, which was disappointing, because I knew I wouldn’t get another chance to join an LDP since those programs are mostly for recent graduates. I felt like I needed the experience of trying different roles to figure out what was best for me. Regardless, I gave this role my best, but adulting quickly became a bigger challenge than I’d anticipated.

I was stressed, trying to prove myself worthy to be promoted to a full-time employee instead of working as a contractor. While the contract had perks like weekly pay, full-time employment meant I’d be paid for time off & holidays, have better opportunities for promotions, and feel more included on my team. It was also a big adjustment to commute and work all day. At least in college, I could take breaks between classes, but when I was working, I’d leave the house between 7-8 am and wouldn’t get back until 6-8 pm, depending on traffic. By the time I got home, I had no energy to cook, explore my hobbies, or socialize to make new friends.

The stress negatively impacted my health physically and mentally. I have an auto-immune/anti-inflammatory disorder that causes painful skin flare-ups, and during this period it got to the worst it had ever been due to the stress and my diet. The flare-ups were so bad that sometimes I could barely walk. I decided if I couldn’t eliminate the stressors, I’d manage my diet instead. Unfortunately, trying to avoid inflammatory foods triggered an episode of disordered eating & I barely ate, only drinking smoothies, eating soups, & snacking on seaweed. Cooking more might’ve helped, but I was too drained at the end of the workday to manage it. I spent hours in the grocery store checking labels to avoid inflammatory ingredients, but even the vegan options had things that would cause a flare-up.

My mental health took a hit and I was struggling with depression & anxiety. I found the best therapist I’ve ever had (even to this day) and began taking an SSRI to help me manage & overcome the challenges I was facing. After 1.5 years in Charlotte, I’d had enough of my job & applied for full-time roles with opportunities for career advancement. This landed me in the DMV in a role as an HR Generalist/Onboarding Specialist, and I was excited about the chance to relocate again.

New Beginnings – Or So I Thought

At first, everything was going pretty great! I had a $20k pay increase, was absolutely shining in the role, and enjoyed getting to explore DC. The company had different offices across the country, and I became the first HR representative at the shiny corporate office with the C-Suite.

As the Onboarding Specialist, I created a brand new New Hire Orientation program and completely revamped the onboarding process with positive feedback from my manager, other leadership, the new hires themselves, and even the C-Suite. I can’t lie – that was an amazing feeling and I was excited to see where this role would take me.

Unfortunately, only 5 months into this role, the pandemic hit in March 2020. I still remember the day we were told to go home & work remotely until things returned to normal. Three months later, things still hadn’t returned to normal and the “unprecedented times” were driving me crazy – I was paranoid about everything! I decided to visit home for a few weeks to visit my family & check in with my doctors about some health concerns. My doctor discovered a cyst on my left ovary, likely caused by all my stress, and in December 2020, I had my first-ever surgery to have it removed. It was also around this time that I experienced some things at work that made me realize it may not be the right place for me anymore.

Spiritual Journey & Self-Discovery

During my recovery period and over the winter holidays, I unintentionally kickstarted a journey that would change my life. I joined the new app Clubhouse & explored a few rooms where the topic was astrology, something I’ve been interested in since I was a kid. These rooms also exposed me to the world of crystals, ancestral veneration, tarot, herbalism, and so much more. I’ve always been a very introspective person, but this felt like a whole new world. In January 2021, I bought my baby spiritualist starter pack (my first deck of tarot cards, set of crystals, packs of incense, herbs, smudge sticks, so on and so forth) and experimented to figure out what resonated most with me.

As I plunged deeper into my spiritual journey, my work circumstances became unbearable and I knew that it was no longer a place that would allow me to grow. In April 2021, a confrontation with my manager made it clear that this workplace was no longer a safe place for me. So I quit. I had no backup plan, but I did have some money saved that I used to enjoy a “funemployment” period. I was intentional about using this time to care for myself, spend time with my family, & figure out what my values were & what I really wanted to do with my life. During this time, I:

Explored different hobbies, established a consistent yoga practice, built a daily routine of meditation and journaling, completed a workout challenge, explored my personal style, and built better eating habits.
Aligned myself with the moon, releasing what no longer served me on full moons and inviting my desires into my life on new moons.
Expanded my crystal collection and used them to set specific intentions on the energies I wanted to magnetize toward me and repel from me.
Spent more time in nature, whether I was just relaxing or going on hikes & nature walks.
Explored my natal chart, gaining a better understanding of my unique skills, talents, quirks, characteristics, and overall place in the world.
Read tarot for myself daily, connecting to my higher self, my ancestors, my shadow self, my Spirit Guides, and with God/the Universe/Spirit/the Creator – whatever you’d like to call the creative force that exists in all life.
Learned more about herbal medicine, getting into herbal teas and body care.

It was the most aligned and in tune I’d ever felt. I was so inspired that I decided to take my first crack at entrepreneurship, initially planning to start an apothecary that featured natural skin & haircare products and eventually graduating to offerings like herbal medicine, teas, and cigarette alternatives. I even enrolled in the School of Natural Skincare to learn how to formulate safe & trustworthy products.

As summer 2021 came to a close, I took on a role as an independent contractor for a small business to generate some income while I worked on my business ideas. I had the chance to build processes, systems, and policies to strengthen the business’s foundation as it scaled, and as the CEO/Founder’s right hand, I had a front-row seat to learn about small business operations.

While in this role, I continued my journey of self-discovery, which led me to an ADHD diagnosis In January 2022. I began to make sense of my work style, how I learn & process information, how my energy levels work, what management style would best suit me, the type of flexibility I needed, and much more. It felt like I unlocked a door to myself that allowed me to explore myself even deeper and meet my needs more efficiently.

Here We Go Again

Despite all the progress I was making internally, I fell victim to external expectations and took on another full-time HR Generalist role in February 2022. The opportunity looked great on paper & was more aligned with my personal & professional values – it was remote, I’d be making a $20k increase from my last full-time role, and the company was known for its great employee culture. Through this role & reflecting on my past work experiences, I realized that I had a passion for spotting problems in processes, enhancing workplace efficiency, and building systems that make the day-to-day workflow run much more smoothly.

This realization helped me discover that there’s a major link between personal wellness and efficiency in the workplace. Employee wellness and work-life balance take a hit when work processes are all over the place, overcomplicated, un-documented, tedious & repetitive, not automated, only known by one specific person, or only done a specific way because “that’s the way it’s always been.” It’s harder and takes more time to do your job when you have to ask around about what the correct process is because only one person knows the correct way, the procedures haven’t been documented accordingly, everyone has their own way of executing the same task, and problems keep getting pushed back to be fixed at a later date because there are so many “fires” to put out.

In spite of all these realizations, I wasn’t happy in my role for a number of reasons. During winter 2022, I became so stressed out that by spring 2023, my physician confirmed that my daily migraines & other physical sicknesses were induced by work-related stress. I tried to work with my therapist to take a leave of absence, but it didn’t work out, and my health kept declining.

At this point, I knew I needed to prioritize my health over the job. Reflecting on my career journey, I knew I never wanted to be a cog in the machine of corporate America. While the corporate money & remote work were great perks, my ability to truly enjoy life felt restricted, and I yearned for something different. I felt confined by others’ plans for me, whether from my family, managers, or the organization itself. Although I believe most of these projections were well-intentioned, I felt like I was trying to fit myself into a box that was clearly too small for me and then getting frustrated, upset, and physically unwell when I couldn’t fit.

Back to the Drawing Board

I wanted financial freedom. I didn’t want to be limited by budget constraints or compared to colleagues with similar but different jobs. I didn’t want to wait until the next year to receive compensation for my impact & the value that I added or to wait for external validation & recognition to tell me what I was worth. I know what I’m worth, I know I add immense value, and I wanted my compensation to reflect that.

I wanted time freedom. I didn’t want my schedule to be dictated by other people or what was expected because it was the “norm.” I wanted to set my own schedule, balance it according to my energy levels, prioritize my health & wellness, work on the go as I traveled, take time off when I felt like I needed a reset, and have the space to pour back into myself, my family, friends, & community.

I wanted the freedom to learn & create. I wanted my life to be centered on my interests, passions & hobbies, to be a lifelong learner of the things that truly interest me, and to have the freedom to let those interests evolve without restriction. I wanted to explore my creativity & imagination, turning my thoughts & ideas into tangible works that could inspire myself & others. I wanted to grow as a person and share what I’ve learned to help other people grow, building a community around me that values the same freedoms.

And finally, I wanted the freedom to be myself. I didn’t want to conform just to prove my intelligence, capabilities, skills, and knowledge. I didn’t want to keep being the chameleon, chnaging myself to fit in. I didn’t want to keep making myself smaller just to fit into spaces that would limit me, frustrate me, and stunt my growth.

So, I decided to bet on myself. I put the initial apothecary idea on hold and pivoted to a new idea that was more centered on my current passions but also still aligned with holistic wellness. I decided to focus on sharing personal growth & intuitive guidance through tarot, astrology, and other resources that would help others learn to use these tools for themselves.

Introducing LifeSpann Insights, LLC

After quitting my full-time job in May 2023, my passion for improving processes & enhancing workflow efficiency inspired me to also work on another business idea that I hadn’t considered before: operations consulting. This, in tandem with my personal growth offerings, led me to launch my first business, LifeSpann Insights.

LifeSpann was established with one thing in common between the two seemingly separate industries – development & growth. The operations side focused on business development, and the spiritual side focused on personal development. While this combination might seem disjointed, I believe that personal & professional development are inherently linked in a continuous cycle where one impacts the other. Considering a person’s overall wellness, it’s hard to isolate either one – growth or limitations in one area tend to affect the other, and if one side is off-balance, the other also becomes unstable in some way.

After developing my business plan, website, and offerings, I officially shared LifeSpann with the public in July 2023. I was so excited and so nervous at the same time! I didn’t know what to expect, but I was ready to get going. However, I quickly learned that although I clearly saw the connection between the two sides of the business, other people needed a bit more convincing.

Through feedback, I learned that people interested in business development might be turned off by my spiritual offerings, and people interested in my spiritual offerings might feel that my business offerings were irrelevant to their needs. I couldn’t figure out how to market either side of the business without alienating the other or share my message in a way that resonated with both sides without being too vague, which led me to separate the offerings into two distinct brands. LifeSpann Insights would be solely focused on business development, and I’d create a new brand for the personal development side.

Back to the Drawing Board... Again!

It didn’t take me long to figure out that it might not be the best idea to build two brands from scratch simultaneously. I had no branding experience, and this effort burned me out & made me reconsider the direction I wanted to go in. Feeling the heat to generate some stable income, I decided to focus on the business development side since working with businesses instead of individuals seemed like a better money maker.

I’m honestly thankful that I decided to focus on the business development endeavor, because it gave me a peek into what my life would look like if I decided to pursue that option exclusively. While I enjoyed the work and generated some income, it just wasn’t as fulfilling as I felt the personal growth work would be. So, in fall 2023, while still doing business development work on the side & picking up a part-time job, I enrolled in an accredited life coach training program that would make the personal development option more tangible by growing my skills & increasing my potential to generate income.

My participation in the program was a journey. It molded me into a skilled coach and forced me to face & unroot limiting beliefs that blocked me from accomplishing my goals and aligning with my dreams. The program was only supposed to be about 90 days, and my cohort was expected to finish by January/February 2024.

Unfortunately, I let impostor syndrome & comparison psych me out. I was the youngest person in my cohort, and everyone else seemed to have so much more work experience under their belts. Although I was doing great on my assignments, in group discussions, and in practice sessions, self-doubt got the better of me. I took a break from the program in November and didn’t rejoin until January 2024.

By this time, my cohort had already graduated and I had to join a new one. It honestly felt like divine timing. With only 5 participants including myself, this was a close-knit group that was more raw in what we shared with each other, allowing us to soak up all the program’s benefits. I even developed a coaching methodology that incorporated my passion for tarot & astrology with traditional coaching techniques.

The journey wasn’t easy, but in May 2024, I finally completed the program, earned my credentials, and gained a clear view of the direction I want to go in and the path I’ll take to get there.

Alchemy with Courtney

I’m so excited to start this new chapter and for the opportunity to be a catalyst for personal & spiritual growth in others and myself. While I’m definitely not here to fool you into thinking I’m perfect, I have it all figured out, and I know all the answers, I’m absolutely committed to doing my best, sharing what I learn, and building a supportive community along the way.

That’s the purpose of Alchemy with Courtney. I want to show you what’s possible by being “patient zero” as I continue to transmute my life, and I invite you to become the alchemist of your own life too!

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